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And Why Is He So Passionate About Helping People Break The Chains of Past Trauma?
After a long evening at work, I was parking my car in the garage when out of nowhere THUMP! A shadow jumped around the corner and before I could do or say anything he hit me. And as I fell to the floor all I saw were three other figures running up the driveway ready to join in. At some point I started yelling, and my dad came out and scared them off. I was very fortunate the physical damage was relatively minimal for what it could have been. But as I was about to find out, the real damage was about to surface; the psychological kind!Anxiety, fear, insomnia, fogginess and a feeling of total instability came over me and was to stick around for a long, long time! My friends didn’t understand and my family didn’t know how to help. Eventually I went to see a psychologist and then a psychiatrist who gave me meds which made me feel really loopy and like a zombie, I didn’t like them at all so I quickly stopped.As it was the start of the 2000’s, the only TV I had at the time was 5 channels of free to air. And when you have insomnia your choices of viewing become very limited at 3am…but this huge figure with a booming voice kept appearing telling me how you can change your life, no matter what happened in the past. And he had the most incredible celebrities endorsing him; Oprah Winfrey, Andre Aggassi, Serena Williams, Bill Clinton and the names just kept on coming. Could this be real, I kept asking myself. Was there really a way, other than traditional therapies, to reduce these nasty side effects of the attack? I wasn’t even looking for a ‘cure’ as such, just something to help me feel a little normal again so I can get back to living a life.
After a few weeks of watching these ads, I worked up the courage to order a CD set (yes, CD’s…) and what was supposed to be a 30 day program, I completed in 3 days! I couldn’t stop, I didn’t want to stop. It was real, I instantly started feeling more in control.
Fast forward 14 years, and many many more personal development courses I was at a place I thought I would never reach. I was living life! I had a 6-Figure job, friends, hobbies and was able to go out. But I was still living with the past, it was more in control but it was still there. Sitting with my back to the wall at restaurants, my eyes continually scan the room for signs of trouble, as well as where all the exits were. But hey, at least I was able to use my tools to get out. And I was happy with that.
It wasn’t until I was in the midst of a career change when my brother-in-law said to me, “why don’t you get a coaching qualification? You love personal development and helping others.” And just like that I enrolled myself to the number one coaching school in Australia, and everything changed!
It was on the last day of the three day onboarding workshop, where the facilitator wanted to show some of the more advanced skills for those of us who were on that course; which I was! He went on to ask for someone who had experienced one specific event which was still affecting them today. And before I knew it, I was having flashbacks, crying uncontrollably and my hand was raising without me even thinking about it. What I was about to experience in those next few moments would shape the rest of my life!
From not being able to talk about my attack without sobbing uncontrollably, to standing in front of my peers and recounting the whole event as if watching a movie. No crying, no shaking and no emotional connection whatsoever!
I had to find out what these skills were and help as many people as I could. So I fast tracked all my advanced training to the soonest possible date. I did as many coaching hours as possible, free and paid, just to get my experience up.
And then one day it happened…my mentor and head coach of the coaching school put an offer out for a very small and select group of training coaches to be shown the most powerful skills to assist people, much like me, who were survivors of past trauma. And I was one of them!
I knew I could either take this moment as an opportunity to assist others, like I had been assisted. Because I thought after 14 years of working on myself, it was as good as it was going to get. I had no idea these skills were even out there.
Or I could simply sit by and feel helpless as I see people all around me in immense pain, knowing I could have helped them.
I knew this was my calling, and I was up for the responsibility and the challenge.
I couldn’t let go of my past and wondered why everyone else could! I saw Jakub on Facebook and thought I’d give it one last try.
My first impression of Jakub Wolanski was his geniusness!! Kindness!! And the way he wanted the best for me, always there 24/7 to give me support.
My first session I let go of my past and I didn’t think it was possible at my age of 57 years old…I still have a long way to go, this is the person to go to!!
Can’t wait to start 2017 with you Jakub so I can move forward even more…Thank you for all your support, see you then.
I sought help with Jakub in order to deal with an incident which occurred years ago and involved me being raped at the age of 16. Since the incident I had developed severe anxiety and my self esteem had become almost non existent. I had sought help from numerous sources and had no success- I believe generally a lot of the individuals I had previously seen did not have an understanding of what I had been through and also the tools provided dealt with the symptoms but not the root cause (which included underlying unhealthy beliefs I had developed). When I met Jakub, I knew straight away he could relate to what I had been through, and generally cared. I trusted him straight away and am so grateful for his help. I used to experience multiple panic attacks a day, could not go anywhere near bushes and didn’t believe I was worthy of anything. Fast forward two years of working with Jakub and implementing the tools he has given me and I now do not experience panic attacks at all, know how to control my anxiety and believe in myself 100%. The purpose of sharing my story is to let others who have been through something similar know there is always hope and support and having someone like Jakub to work with and as part of your support network is invaluable.
Before I had the opportunity to work with Jakub there was still lingering past hurt, shame and regret regarding verbal, physical and sexual abuse which had occurred in my teenage years and throughout my 20’s.
As a result of what occurred back then, it continued to play out in various un-resource ways over the years. I now see this was my attempt to keep myself safe, hidden and quiet. It had equaled many years of active alcoholism which only fueled the fire and provided the doorway for these events to add up and often the hurt would surface in damaging ways.
The smile on the outside and the happy go lucky persona was often very far from the shame, guilt and desperation I felt inside. I had a deep sense of loneliness.
At times I became so panic stricken I was unable to leave the house, frozen in fear for hours at a time. Once I even checked myself into a hospital when I feared that I no longer had control over what I may do to myself and as a result placed me on medication. I often thought I was mentally ill and going crazy. These were dark days.
Over the years I have sort and played an active part in many attempts to heal what I had believed was wrong with me, I now know there is nothing wrong with me or any of us. And to be honest all these attempts have assisted me greatly into growing into the woman I am today. And as such, much of what I wrote above seems like a distant dream, another lifetime, or someone else’s lifetime.
Yet there was still a connection to what was and every once and a while, even years later it would surface in some form of destructive behaviour and my heart would break as I slipped back into playing a small game and had to rebuild the rift created through reopening a wound which had never fully healed. I was so done with this, so done.
I could write a book on what this has meant for me…I would happily shout gratitude from the rooftops. I want this for everyone who has been abused and still feels trapped in the darkness or shaded by a dim light of what was. Jakub helped me to step fully in the sunlight of which I am, with love. To accept, appreciate and love all aspects of what has brought me to this point I am at today. To be able to connect deeply with myself, knowing who I am, that I am safe, and I can trust me.
The results have spoken for themselves through my relationship with me and others…. I no longer smoke (another benefit!), my business has taken off and the way I am putting myself out there is beautiful and light. It is ok for me to be seen and it’s certainly ok for me to be heard. When some of the past does surface, I welcome the emotion and allow it to be felt. As now I can let it go… making space for the beauty of what will come. And it does come.
The greatest gift in this for me is, this is the first time that I can actually remember in my life I feel it’s ok to be me and it’s more than that-it’s the coolest thing ever to be ME!
It was evident from day one that I was going to love working with Jakub.
His sincere nature, genuine interest and rock solid commitment, is clearly evident during each of our coaching sessions and conversations in between. Being a coach myself, my expectations of our time together is high, and Jakub not only meets, but exceeds this every time.
Having a unique combination of knowledge, warmth and compassion, yet still keeping me accountable in a firm and direct manner, Jakub has helped me discover more of my own personal self worth, has guided me to my first paying client in my new business, and recently provided a safe space for my partner and I to discuss our relationship.
Jakub, thank you for being the person who continually drives me to be a higher quality version of myself.
Before I came to Jakub I was full of anxiety. I saw countless coaches who promised me an anxiety free life full of love and joy.
From the minute of my first conversation with Jakub I knew that he could get to the root cause of my issues and heal it. He immediately was able to tell where my anxiety was coming from with just one conversation.
In our Breakfree session he unpacked the real cause of the anxiety I was experiencing and in just a matter of hours I had a completely different perspective on life. It took some time for my mind to absorb the changes made in our session, yet slowly but surely my anxiety began to fade away and I realised the true purpose of it being there.
Jakub is a phenomenal coach that can pinpoint the cause of an issue instantly, healing it, and whilst doing so showing the utmost care and compassion.
I would highly recommend him to anyone experiencing any issues, because every problem we have begins internally and Jakub is one of the best human behaviour experts I have come across.
Now, instead of living a life in fear, I am living a life of freedom and love.
Hey Jakub, Just wanted to say thank you so so so so much! Before I came and saw you I was stuck in a rut lacking purpose and drive, self confidence and feeling overall pretty shitty within myself, I had tried week to week coaching as well as other modalities yet wasn’t getting the impact that I wanted from the sessions. Then I had the breakthrough session with you and just WOW! In a matter of hours I’ve rediscovered my purpose and passion for life. I’m energetic, vibrant and feel like ME again, all those invisible blockages that were in the way have been removed. Ii got answers to questions that I had been trying to figure out for years. The breakthrough session sets the platform to do months worth of coaching in one amazing powerful session. I couldn’t recommend it more highly!! Do yourself a favour and say yes to you!
Ever since I can remember, I was abused by my father. The bruising and broken bones healed but the emotional scars never did. He broke me inside too and that’s the hardest to heal. The last time he touched me I was 18 years old. I ran away from home and married the first man that showed me a bit of interest. Although he never physically touched me again, the abuse continued psychologically up until his passing.
All my life I looked upon myself as a lesser human. Not worthy of having nice things or nice people in my life. All my relationships suffered because of the abuse. I guess you could call it a kind of side effect from it. Relationships with family, children, spouse, things that were dearest to me were the worst affected.
After the death of my father in 2006 I developed a burning hatred for him. It engulfed me with every waking moment. Already suffering bouts of depression and extreme anxiety, his death made things worse. Now that he was gone forever, I felt I could never resolve things with him, or tell him how the consequences of his actions ruined my existence.
The act of forgiving him wouldn’t even enter my thoughts. I was told it would free me, but I didn’t want to forgive him. I couldn’t and worst of all I didn’t know how.
Doctors put me on medications. It helped with depression a bit, but they made me sick, I was like a zombie. I might as well have been dead. Thoughts of suicide entered my head daily. It scared me and I desperately looked for help. All they wanted to do was give me more drugs. I weaned myself off and swore never again! I developed agoraphobia and was a recluse for 15 years. Unable to leave the house. It robbed me of many, many more.
An old school friend, whom I hadn’t seen in over 20 years, just happened to surface on facebook. She wrote something about the importance of forgiving and was welcoming anyone who needed help with this. Reluctant, unsure and frightened I took the first step by contacting her. She was so understanding and without wasting a moment listened to my story. We talked for weeks and then she said she was going to find someone who would help me.
A few days later she said she found someone who may be able to help me. His name was Jakub and he had dealt with this kind of thing before. I became anxious but knew that if I didn’t take this step I’d be in this prison forever for sure.
Meeting Jakub. Well, it would have to be one of the most positive things I’ve ever done in my life. In only a few days I was ready for the breakthrough. I didn’t know what it was. I didn’t know what to expect. All I knew was that I was trusting myself to Jakub and I’m so glad I did.
I’ve tried to put down in words how I felt during and after the breakthrough. Sometimes words just don’t cut it. It was the most emotional, freeing experience of my life. An experience I will never forget, and I still feel the love and emotion of it when I think about that moment.
All the hatred had gone, and I truly had forgiven from my heart. Straight after the breakthrough I just got up and walked out my door without any fear, Jakub by my side all the way. I walked past neighbors’ homes I’d never seen before. I felt alive. I felt like I wanted to thrive. My soul felt light.
Since then, many amazing things have happened for me. I look after myself because I matter. I exercise, eat healthy and laugh a lot and I can now think about my father, and it doesn’t hurt. It’s like I understand, and I have forgiven him.
Just last week I went out for an Early Christmas dinner with my sisters and brother. Haven’t done so for over 15 years.
Where there was once hate and darkness is now replaced with love and light and a willingness to love others and to be loved myself.
Thank you, Jakub! All the years of suffering like I have could have been avoided if I had only known about this. I can’t talk highly enough of Jakub and his devotion to full heartedly offer people like me the help we deserve. Again, THANK YOU! X
I came to Jakub with many issues which had held me back and were a source of pain for quite a substantial period of my life. I had spoken with a number of other professionals in the same field and chose to work with Jakub as I felt a connection with the care and understanding he extended through our initial conversations.
Jakub’s warm, encouraging approach, also simultaneously challenged me to grow and expand my awareness.
I cannot recommend his services highly enough and have encouraged others to seek his professional guidance.
I’ll try to keep it short, family violence (FV), neglect and abuse from the age of 4, domestic violence (DV) and other abuses socially and at work, from about 14 onwards as the FV continued.
At only 33, I had 18 years of different psychotherapies, Labels and a long list of western medicines that I was hypersensitive to. My last Psychologist was great but my brain was to fried, I found myself with a trigger response of suicidal tendencies every few days for weeks on end, even therapy had become a trigger. I had decided to end my sessions and just try to stop focusing on the problem, I was obsessed with healing and wanted to just accept what was.
At the same time, I had a very unexpected call from a very close friend who I hadn’t spoken to in 2 years. We had a falling out, when we were both at our lowest.
I could tell she was different instantly, she told me about Jakub and her experience, of course I was sceptical and suspicious… The biggest factor for me was relapsing and regression, previously I would go along adulting like a champ and then bang, Id suddenly relapse, suicidal, trigger stacked to the max, unable to concentrate or sleep. So I asked her many questions, tested the waters, waiting for a sign of the relapse, but it never came. Then one night one of her canines was not eating, there was something in how she spoke to that darling boy and handled herself. I will never forget it and when my decision was made, I needed to speak to Jakub.
Jakub was my last crack at healing, I was going to throw it all at him. To my surprise It wasn’t hard, speaking on the phone made me feel like I was in a safe protective bubble. It was a couple of weeks wait to see him, I went through all sorts of emotions, getting closer I started to cry a lot from joy and grief, I lived each day like it was the last day of my old habits, if I was triggered id just say “well make the most of it coz after Saturday it won’t happen again”.
I took myself down to Melbourne from country Victoria, for my session. It was so relaxing and comfortable, it felt like we had been mates forever and time flew by. I highly recommend that everyone has a driver. I am a professional driver and think it’s best for someone else to drive afterwards.
I slept for a few days, there is something new every day I notice, the meaning behind everything I do is because I can, want to or just am, not reacting because I’m in a fight flight fawn freeze state. Due to my circumstances, I still live on the same property as the two that were at the core of my FV. It feels like I am just living with people I don’t like, nothing more nothing less, they just don’t trigger me anymore even when they try.
I’ve had a few moments of confusion but Jakub was there ready to help me make sense of it, like the big brother we all need.
Not being suicidal every day is the best feeling, I know now I won’t ever break my best mates heart, my darling animals have their humum at full strength, my body feels free, I can focus, all my senses are heightened I just love touching things, for first time I have my old and emotional brains working in harmony. I am very aware of things that would normally trigger me but instead I experience strength, clarity and peace.
Jakub not only guided me into healing my wounds but he also healed an amazing friendship, one where we had been to hell at the same time because of trauma and now we are both healed together and it has brought us so much closer.
I can’t thank Jakub enough for just being himself, having the strength and such a huge heart to be able to guide me and others to reclaim our true selves. I’m just so excited for my future, so darn excited. I hope that all of you chose this path, you deserve this just like I did!
In hindsight my self confidence has always been very low, my expectations of what I deserve have always been very low. My ability to respect myself has been non-existent to the point where I would always put others first. My belief in myself under the superficial top layer has always been similar to the belief of my step father that I was not good enough and that I did not belong. Belief that my step father reiterated every chance he could get through his words and actions. He acted as if he believed I was not of great worth so I believed I was not of great worth.
I decided to take up a coaching opportunity with Jakub because I wanted to make significant changes to my life. I knew my past was still haunting me. I knew that I needed to instigate change not only for myself but also for my children. You see, I believe that children will do 30% what you say and 70% of what you do. I want them to have self belief, self confidence and the knowledge that they deserve the very best. I have not been able to scaffold these learnings with my limited beliefs and protective behaviors that ultimately do not serve me and now do not serve my children.
After one session the relief and the release that I experienced from being truly heard and understood in such a safe and non threatening environment gave me the confidence to share information I had never shared with a living soul before. I walked out of his office with a new way of thinking, yes those behaviors I needed to employ as a little seven year old girl worked then, but I no longer need to employ them. I did not own the immense shame anymore miraculously the feelings of great shame had just dissipated into the ethers.
The purpose of sharing my story is to tell other women or men who have been wronged in this manner that there is hope, that you can live your life free of the wrongs that you have experienced.
Jakub Wolanski is a name I have heard a lot over the last few years.
He was referred to me by a friend – the difference he made in her life is like night and day.
Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have believed her claims if I didn’t see the results with my own eyes.
The day I met Jakub happened to be one of the most traumatic days in my life.
It was a surreal experience. The 6 hours I was with him felt like I was on a different planet.
Although I had already experienced one trauma shortly before meeting him (and would go on to experience more later on in the day) he was able to help me re-align my mind and my heart so I was instantly relaxed and comfortable before he set to work asking me what I wanted to improve in my life and worked with me to make those changes happen.
I honestly don’t know how I would have gotten through that day if it wasn’t for Jakub. I certainly wouldn’t have been able to recover as quickly as I was able to.
Jakub has given me the tools I needed to focus on myself first, to build myself up so that I have the resources to cope when things go badly.I’m no longer hyper focusing on things that make me upset. I can have a negative experience and not have it ruin my day.I have been able to recognise toxic relationships and reduce my contact with people who try to make me feel bad.
I’ve gone further than that, now. By putting myself first I have also been working on improving my own health. Although I didn’t really talk with Jakub about my unhappiness at my current weight and unhealthy eating habits, after a few months I decided to tackle that head on, as well.
I am now 15kg down (and counting) and feel so much healthier and more confident.
For a long time I put off seeing Jakub because I didn’t have the finances and because I wasn’t sure I could benefit as much as my friend was able to.But I’m so glad I was able to. And the timing (although unfortunate) was exactly when I needed him the most.
I work as a Veterinary Nurse. It’s one of the most difficult industries to work in. High stress, low wages, a huge amount of pressure put on you by owners, the vets and your coworkers.We witness some absolutely horrible things, and mental health within the industry is incredibly poor.
Most of us don’t look after ourselves or our own mental health because we’re so focused on caring for everybody else.
Burn out is common, most vets and nurses only enjoy a few years of work before they seek other careers. Unfortunately, suicide rates within the industry are quite high.
I would absolutely recommend Jakub to any of my Veterinary industry peers. His one on one “workshop” has helped me keep my mental health on track and I have implemented his advice into my everyday life to make sure that I continue to thrive and not just survive.